Enrichment Sucker
Posted on July 1, 2008
Filed under Summer School Sagas
First day of teaching summer school enrichment class. No, this is not a required class by any means, but an alternative to babysitting fees for a 7th grader. Or it is, an alternative to leaving a “to-do” list to serve as a distraction from pulling the hair of a younger sibling (and without a doubt, a myriad of phone calls including bickering and whining of who is at fault, while at work) at home for your teenager. I like to think that middle school enrichment classes are pure in nature. I feel that students can really connect with what interests them. Now, the gamble is that Underwater Basket Weaving, Kitty Kat Crocheting, or Computer Parts and Hardware are all of interest to your teenager. At the risk of sounding too realistic, let’s leave out the first two mentioned selections and pray that no one has ever offered either (much less had a kid sign up in hopes of attending a class that would offer such life skills?). The third, CP&H is the most promising and thus, lucrative for the instructor.
This fine man stepped up to a classroom full of a mere five eager CP&H learners on the first day of summer school. Now, as an instructor, he is in an elite crowd, having students actually sign up for his section. One doesn’t know the intricacies of attaining the title of “summer school enrichment class instructor.” Let me digress for a paragraph or two to describe the rigor that is applying for s.s.e.i.
One has to print of the cry for help email that is highlighted as urgent. Now, seeing there is not category in the email system for “desperate,” the secretary chooses the urgent label as appropriate for the content. If one is lucky enough, he can print off the form (or pick one up in the office, staff workroom, lunchroom, bathroom, car windshield, under your pillow at home, in your cereal box, etc.) and propose a course to enrich the young people in our district. Though the form can be quite daunting with the large grinning sun character at the top, a veteran can see beyond such distractions to fill it out and get it to the office ASAP. Why ASAP? Because everything seems much more important once those four letters are tagged on.
As I return from this digression I am reminded that I am able to produce such musings because I signed up to instruct (mainly poke at smelly teenagers to keep them awake in hopes of them not being retained next year) remedial math; a subject I have little to no instructional experience with or passion for. Yup, I teach summer school math.
Alright, so instructor of CP&H shows up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed on day one of summer school sporting his khaki Dockers, buttoned-up long sleeve tucked in. Eager, to say the least. The mystery remains whether this cat is community member, college student, or some other outsider. What is known for sure is his clientèle. Let me describe a few of the litter.
B.S.
Her initials, by no means, describe her personality. As the lone female in the motley crew she remains clueless about her changing body. The poor thing likes puppies and things that are shiney. No kidding, that’s what she told me at the beginning of her grade 7 career. Puppies and things that are shiny. Does that give you a clear picture yet? Need more? Well, her family life is less than desirable and I figure that she decided she got Charlie’s golden ticket the day summer school forms were handed out. She was the only one in the hallway after school bragging about what she is signing up for. She even voiced her excitement regarding her summer school
prospects as she was walking toward me nearly slipping on the other 7th graders’ abandoned and discarded summer school registration forms on the tile floor. I guess attending anything at summer school is better than dealing with the demons at home.
DomDom
A name earned because of his demeanor and desire to be productive. DomDom’s mom is a force to be reckoned with. Apparently, she is not only a skilled dentist office lady, but also a whiz when it comes to all of DomDom’s core subjects. Aside from the umbilical cord still attached, DomDom has redeeming qualities. He is kind, has shiny braces for BS to look at, and loves to do boy things, like disassembling computer parts. The last of those qualities makes him a prefect candidate for CP&H. DomDom is happy-go-lucky and is annoyed by normal things like homework and little sisters. He even wears the quirky shirts that support his annoyance like “It’s my sister’s fault.” How cute. Lastly, DomDom spends his hard earned pennies daily at the snack-cart (a phenomenon in middle school that produces a metaphorical “moth to the flame” affect on 12 year olds). He didn’t blow his cash on trivial snacks like granola bars and juice boxes. No, he spent upwards of $2 on a large strawberry milk and even larger pickle daily. The combination is enough to make any sane adult throw up a a little; this culinary delicacy is the only thing that helped DomDom through my 7th hour Language Arts class.
Now that you’ve had a sample of the kiddos that are taking CP&H, take some time with me to reflect on what is going through CP&H instructor’s mind. Here are some suggestions:
“I am never having children.”
“Is someone messing with me?”
“Why does she keep pointing out the shiny parts?”
“Why did I bother ironing anything today?”
“Who would notice if I don’t show up tomorrow?”
“Clearly, there has got to be something better to do with my summer.”
“Reminder to self; drink more.”
Alas, I feel that CP&H instructor (apparently missing his pocket protector) is, in fact, having fun. He has actually given out prizes for their skills and knowledge attained and continues to smile (not to mention, return every day). Upon talking to him at the fire drill, I’ve concluded that he is more than an Enrichment Sucker. He probably once attended Underwater Basket Weaving, Kitty Kat Crocheting in his youth and wanted to share something cooler, something that appeals to kids these days. I remain optimistic about his s.s.e.i status, assuming he likes the kids, wants to share his passion for content and need for some summer cash-flow like the rest of us.
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